My Time For ME

OVERVIEW

Give yourself and your mind the opportunity to relax once in a while. Once a month, once a week, or once a day. Anything is better than nothing. Start with just 5 minutes. As you build confidence and experience, try 10 or 20 minutes. It's psychological. We always feel like we have something else to do or some problem we need to solve or think about. Just do yourself this favor and during this 5 minute session, accept that you have no objective. You do not need to solve anything. You do not need to accomplish anything. Just give yourself a moment to train how to relax and focus on the present. This acceptance is important, because you will find yourself needing to justify letting go of other thoughts and fighting the urge to stop. Just accept this moment of time as for yourself, stick with it, and see how you feel on the other side.

SETUP

Find a quiet space where you will not be interrupted. Sit on something soft but firm. A bed is ok if it's very very firm, but if it's too soft it doesn't give you a good sense of balance. A blanket or towel on the ground is good. The main thing you are looking for is something soft under your ankles so they don't hurt too much as they press against the ground.

The next helpful thing is to put a pillow or more folded blankets under your butt to elevate yourself a little higher. By sitting up a little bit higher it puts less strain on your thighs and makes it easier to sit up straight.

After you have your comfy spot, sit regular cross legged or indian style. Don't try to over think it. Just try to sit with your legs crossed in the most comfortable way you can. Then try to keep your back as straight as possible, but again, it's more important to just be comfortable and relaxed.

You can put your hands wherever they are comfortable. On your knees, on your thighs, or put one palm over the other in your waist.

Shift around, try to find a sweet spot. Take a few big breathes in and out. Relax your shoulders.

Next you will want to time your session. This is because 2 minutes will pass and you will think it has been 10 minutes. The timer will help you discipline yourself to stay at least as long as you planned. Try to not stay too focused and worried about how much time has passed, but it's difficult. A free app I recommend is: Insight Timer - Meditation Timer

PRACTICE

Once you feel settled and ready, start your timer and close your eyes.

The principle is simple. Keep your attention on your breath. The reason is because your breath is really happening right now. It's the only thing that's real, and everything else in your mind is a fantasy. It's also an exercise of maintaining your focus and attention.

The reality is this is extremely difficult. If you can make it through one breath without a thought grabbing your attention, this is a great accomplishment. Accept this, and don't be hard on yourself. The trick is to realize that you are not your thoughts. Recognize that you can step back from your thoughts and observe them happening. When you catch this moment and snap back into reality, think to yourself, OK, I'm having this thought. But I am going to let it go now because I told myself I would take these 5 minutes for myself and just focus on my breath. Let the thought go. Look at your breath again. And realize, this breath is really happening right now. Those thoughts are just fabrications of my mind. Let my thoughts settle. I can worry about them later. Let's just take these 5 minutes and be present.

Beyond thoughts, you are going to want to shift and adjust a lot to get comfortable. These are just like thoughts. At first, just accept it and adjust a little. It takes time for your body to find a relaxed position. Just like itches and little distractions, they seem to magnify and scream for your attention. This is a very difficult part of the practice, and just try to accept it and recognize it. After you scratch the same spot 10 times, or do a little adjustment 10 times, just say, ok, seriously, its just 5 minutes, this scratch or position isn't going to kill me. Let's let it go and focus on my breath again.

Another conflict you will experience is just a strong desire to stop. You will just open your eyes, see those seconds slowing ticking, stare off into space, and feel an urge to get up or just zone out. It's all the same principle. I only explain all these to help you be prepared. Just remind yourself. I'm giving myself these 5 minutes. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and relax again. The same things happen when you are trying to do sit-ups or any kind of exercise. This is just an exercise in letting go, relaxation, and focus.

BREATH

The next obvious question is, what makes my breath so special and how can I expect to keep my focus on it?

Breath is an amazing thing. It's with us all the time. It's the most constant thing in our life that we can rely on. If you don't have your breath, you're not alive. There's plenty of great microscopic details like bringing oxygen to our blood, but we can't really observe those details. So let's focus on things we really can see.

The best detail is that it is happening right now. You are really breathing right now. Every thought is a fabrication and not really happening. When you see that you are thinking, you sort of wake up. After you wake up, to stay awake, you need to relate with something that is real in this world. Your breath is just a great reliable friend to stay with you as you try to stay awake and present.

So you peacefully let your thought go. It's important to not judge yourself or get angry that you lost your focus. It happens. Just be grateful that you are awake again, and use this opportunity to look at your breath again. Even if you are lost in thought for 4 minutes, but in the last seconds your realize. Then be grateful you realized, and take this opportunity to be present for a second of your life.

When you are looking at your breath, just observe what is happening with it. It doesn't matter if you are breathing in or out through your nose or mouth. Feel the air as it passes. Feel your chest expand. Does it reach your stomach? How does it feel when you are exhaling. How deep are your inhalations compared to your exhalations? Do you feel tightness in areas? You don't need to fix or change things, just observe it.

One full breath in and out is like an eternity, and it's so difficult to make it all the way through with your focus. Breaking it down into its parts can sometimes make it more detailed and help carry your focus. Here are phases of your breath to observe:

• Starting to breath in
• Ending to breath in
• The momentary pause between breathing in and breathing out
• Starting to breath out
• Ending to breath out
• The momentary pause between breathing out and breathing in

Don't get caught up in any one detail here. The whole point is to just be present. And our breath is the best guide to help us with that. Stop chasing your thoughts and fantasies for 5 minutes. Try to see what's really here in this world and be grateful that you are here and breathing.

WRAP UP

Eventually your bell will ding and you will have made it through the longest 5 minutes of your life. It's often difficult to not be hard on yourself and expect you should have done better during your session. Feeling it was a failure and a waste of time. Some day you will realize there is no need to beat yourself up and you are only causing yourself pain. And this applies to much more than just meditation, just like many of the lessons learned during this time. When you realized that there was that one half second during those 5 minutes that you snapped out of a fantasy thought and realized it was not real. Then found yourself awoken and trying to orient yourself again. Saw that you were here, sitting in this room, alive and breathing. And tried to actually observe that real experience of your breath again. That half second is a powerful and sacred moment. Hopefully now when you are not meditating, you might actually be better at catching yourself getting caught up in your thoughts, and snap out of it, realize you are standing in a room, and there is a person in front of you talking to you. Our goal is to be awake and present. And this is the practice to accomplish that.

I find this time after meditation very special. My mind is usually in the clearest state it will be all day. I often take this time to pray and express gratitude for the things in my life. This just magnifies my experience. But there is no cookie cutter template to any of this. Hopefully you get something out of it, and will want to try it again another day.

Just a note, sometimes as you start to get up after sitting, you will notice pain in your ankles or knees. Things have fallen asleep or hurt in weird ways. Just extend your legs out gradually. Slowly get up and walk around. Personally I do not have any chronic pains that stayed longer as a result of my sitting. Just like working out, the pain goes away and you keep getting stronger.